family, parenting

Scarred Road to Mommyhood

Recently I cried my way through this article  about infertility, relationships, and everything in between.  My 3 and 1/2 year journey through  the infertility trenches left deep emotional and physical scars healed through the birth our son.  We are lucky, for others infertility is a closed, sealed door.

My laundry list:  3 IUIs, 2 IVFs, over a year on various medications before beginning with an IVF specialist, acupuncture, numerous massages, many more medications, Chiropractor visits, a whole body energy session, mediation and reading, couple counseling, prayers, standing on my head, juicing, hips elevated – we tried it all. My lowest point occurred when a close co-worker said, “geez, we just think about getting pregnant and it happens”.  Little did she know that the comment cut like a knife.  I cried for days.

As I unpacked a  box  a few weeks ago, I uncovered my journal from that dark time.  Emotions, visions, and tears flooded back.  Living and surviving those years were the hardest part of my life and our marriage.  Forever will I look back at that time as a true testament to the bond of our marriage and relationship, but also as a time where I searched my soul, prayed a lot, and deep down, found an inner strength I did not know I had.

With Mother’s Day passing, I would like to remind us all that  a lot of wonderful women and couples longing to be parents.  Singles wishing for a parenting role.  Questions, as thoughtful as they may be, can in fact add to the daily pain of an empty womb, an incomplete nursery, or the lonely rocking chair.  Mother’s Day is not just about those now mothers, but also praying for a mommy role whether through childbirth, adoption friendship, or family.  Please remember those souls.  It is a sad, lonely time.

RESOLVE: What Not to Say

To Love a Rose: What NOT to Say


5 thoughts on “Scarred Road to Mommyhood”

  1. I’ve always been grateful that you shared some of your struggles with me when you were going through it. It really opened my eyes to the reality of IF and helped me stop saying things I shouldn’t say. Thank you.

  2. Loved your post…even though we have Ava now, I have never forgotten the pain of living without her and of wanting her so badly. Ironically,it was always the inadvertent comments that hurt me the most.

  3. You are so right. We have been trying very hard for 2 years and have decided to see a specialist. So we are just begining this process. And you are right even now it is an emotional rollercoaster. Thanks for posting. It seems so foreign when you think about it. Our moms always warned us about getting pregnant, amazingly there really is so many things that have to fall into place. Now I know why they call it a miracle!

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