Epic Failure

Standard

 

I failed.  First time ever.  Okay so not a pass/fail kind of thing, but still, it felt horrible.  Tears brimmed my eyes.  I held it together.  Until I got to the car.  Flood gates opened.  Out rushed years of frustration and pain, heartache over what’s to come.  Mumbles my husband could vaguely comprehend.

 

A hearing test.  Over the years my hearing has stayed relatively the same.  A happy medium I like to say.  For the first time, since I can recall, I dipped.  More than a few dB s.  Five to ten dB s to be exact, across the scale.

 

For the first time in my life, I obsessed how long I’ll have hearing my daughter’s ridiculous laugh, M’s sweet stories, little man’s hilarious ramblings, or my husband’s lovely “sirdspukite”.   Looking back I went to the deep end, I know.  However, I cherish my limited hearing.

 

What’s next I asked Cari, my super cool audiologist.  Her diagnosis?  New hearing aids.  Cough, cough, swallow deep.  What’s that going to run me, I asked.  $3000-3400.  Yikes!!  More deep breaths.  A piece she punches in.  Whoa, I silently gagged.  Sure my insurance will pay about $1500 a piece.  Do the math.  $6800 – 3000 insurance = $3800 out-of-pocket.  Yeah, we have it, but it is set aside for the eventually, hopefully sale of house one.  Or when our 13-year-old, no payment van reaches its final days.  It’s there and I do not like to touch it, ever.

The temporary solution was to beef up my current daily dependencies.  I bought some time without paying a dime.  But the capabilities of these aids has almost been reached.

Next stop, the ENT.  Something must be wrong.  No, I know my outlook.  Irreparable nerve damage.

If only I could put the positive part of losing to being down 5-10 pounds.

 

Advertisements

6 responses »

  1. I can NOT imagine how you’re feeling. I have been so fortunate. I can’t fathom losing my hearing. Any loss is a big one for you. I was going to say “hang in there, kid” but that won’t cut it.
    I’ll keep a good thought for you – that’s the best I have to offer.

  2. You certainly have a wonderful gift of putting things in perspective. You are such an inspiration in the way you have always dealt with your hearing loss. You may have a hearing loss but God has used that & you in a mighty way. I praise Him & thank Him for that. I know you will be fine. Thanks for sharing this painful experience with us.

    Chic

  3. I am so sorry, Julie, about you losing some more of your hearing. I’m going to start praying the people who know of your plight will set aside some money so that you can buy those new hearing aids before too awfully long. I know that w/God, all things are possible. I can think of nobody more deserving of getting them. You are such an awesome wife, mother, dtr., in-law, sibling, teacher, & friend. I hope you won’t let this get you down. It’s just a temporary bump in the road. Take care for I truly care!

  4. Pingback: Hand talker | smalltownjules

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s